Magnetic Pages Article | 1998-03-08 | 61KB | 358 lines
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''The theme of the stories by Mike'Richmond is "Breakdown". I guess the'first story "Love is Blind" is a'breakdown of morals and sanity. The'main character "falls in love" with a'lady and is rejected. OK, I realize'that both men and women can be really'cruel at times. I guess in this case,
love turned to hate.
'Anyway, the main character is a'psychotic personality who went way over'the edge. At first, I thought it is was'rather funny how men can behave in the'most bizarre manner over a woman such'as stalking, crank calls, breaking-'and-entering and such acts as these. In'this case, this guy goes even further.#He is a rapist and torturing type.
'Here I am confronted with a problem. On'the one hand, the story is well-'written, but on the other hand I am'forced to question the motivation of'the writer. In a ShareWorld interview,'he mentioned that he wrote truth-based'stories, as it was easier to write'stuff he had experienced than stuff he'had not. This begs a question. How much'of the story is truth-based and how
much is made-up?
'(There is this idea that is expressed'at least three times in various forms'one of which is in this story and other'other two in ShareWorld: the picture of'the demon with the bleeding eyes and a'love poem where he states at the end'that he will not see her eyes shine'anymore. Rather disturbing to say the
least!)
'You know. I am a sensitive and'intelligent person, thus I have a'difficult time reading or watching'hardcore graphic violence. It hurtz my'feelings. Even if it is only imaginary,'I react to it as if it is real. I'realize that this is a weak spot of'mine, as I have been taught to not'react automatically to the "is-ness of'identity on a verbal level" in General
Semantics.
'I wonder if the writer hates women in'general or only one person in'particular. He may not even hate women'at all, but judging by this particular'piece, it seems like he does. Is the'writer suggesting the reason, that the'main character brutalized the woman in'this story, was because of feelings'about society in general? I do not see"what one has to do with the other.
'I have had some women, particularly the'hardcore feminists, who had done some'really disqusting things to me to the'point where my feelings toward women'(in general) was turning to hate.'However, in my case, it was reverse'sexual harrassment. I had to remind'myself that these feelings of hate were'toward individuals and not women in'general. The hardest part for me was to'forgive these people. However, in this'case, the main character HAD NO LOVE'from the very beginning, so there'really is no room for forgiveness but
only HATE.
'Sometimes bad things happen to people'in particular widows, orphans, women,'children, aged folks and even pets. In'most cases, the offenders have been'"men" who seem to have a talent for'physically brutalizing others. Even the'writer admits that he has been'victimized by men in the past (and not'by women necessarily)! Again I do not'see the connection between the faults'of a male dominanted society and this'one lady in the story. All she'basically did was to not say anything
and walk away.
'The main character gave basically two'reasons: getting laid off and'technology. Now if I get brutalized by'my boss, why should I take it out on'the wife, kids and pets. They were not'the original cause. I consider this,'the acts of a coward, however this is'all too common an experience. In fact'both men and women tend to be guilty of
this. Sad but true.
'However, in this story, the real reason'was that the woman rejected the main'character. Is this a good enough reason'to brutalize her? Not as far as I am'concerned. The main character has no'respect for free-will, so he forced'himself on her (against her free will).
'Why do you think Sodom Insane is always'assassinating people? Because his'people love him? Heavens, no! People'tend to hate what they fear, and will'always try to get rid of whatever is'causing that fear. At the same time,'the only way Sodom Insane can maintain'control is through more fear and'assassinating. It really is a losing
game.
'Since man does have free-will, the'trick is getting people to cooperate in'a willing manner through acts of love'and kindness. One person at work said'that you have to give, before you can'get. However what she really meant was'that the other person had to make the'first move, before she would. Well, it'does not work that way. If you want to'change the world, you have to make the
first move.
'Of course, the world is violent and'hateful to-a-degree. However MORE acts'of violence and brutality is not going'to make the world better only worse.'Maybe one person can not change the'world, but someone has to make the'first move, otherwise nothing will ever'happen and things will never get'better. A person does not even have to'be nice to strangers or pets. He can'start by being nice to the people he
supposedly "loves".
'The alternative is going back to living'as "beasts" of the field. Apparently'the main character sided with the'enemy, the male gods of money and'technology, who originally victimized
him in the first place.
'Well, what if he has tried being nice'and only got slapped down...again and'again? Should he just give up? No, he'just gets up and keeps trying over and'over again. When he has run out of'faith and even love, there is still'hope. Without hope, things can get'pretty dire. From personal experience,'even your arch enemy and nemesis can'eventually become at the least
agreeable.
'(I wish this guy would stop rambling'and just shut up! I am talking to'myself here. I think it is time to get!back to the subject of emotions.)
'The emotional center like water can be'calm and quiet, at other times like a'whirlpool (apparently the writer used'the same analogy later in the story)'which threatens to destroy everyone'including the self. If these emotions'are not released or as the expression'goes "give it up", they can eventually
destroy everything.
'In this case, the main character not'only wants to commit suicide but also'homocide (of the woman he is obsessed'with). I realize that it is uncommon to'not have such thoughts now-and-then,'but it is another thing to act them'out. I wonder if the writer has been'using writing as a catharsis, to purge'these feelings of hate. Who can say for
sure?
'In my opinion, if a person is in a'self-destruct mode, that person should'not hurt other people nor take others'down with him. If a person wants to'pull out of the game prematurely, why'must that person also take other people
down with him?
'Just recently there was this guy at a'university who was writing this story'on the internet, a story pretty much'like this one. The lady in the story'was another female student of the'school who just happened to learn about'the story. Well, she went to the'police. The guy was found quilty and'put in jail, even though he had not yet'committed a crime. I actually thought
it was a fair judgement.
'The main character in the story goes'into some diversions (the rationalizing'of his crimes) in order to distract the'reader from the real intent of the'story. The diversions really do not'have anything to do with the story...'and really do not have anything to say.'In fact, the main character seems to be
just rambling.
'Or maybe the intent of the writer was'to impose or force his paranoid view of'the world on others. However, the main'character's views were only half-truths'and mainly one-sided in that they were'self-serving. His intent was to justify'the crimes. However, as I mentioned'earlier, the logic just does not add
'"We've already turned into virtual'robots, and we all want everything at'the push of a button - entertainment,'shopping, even communication. The human'contact has gone, all because machines'do it more efficently. Which, of'course, is better, according to the'Conservative theory." Sounds kind of'true in a somewhat detached'intellectual manner. Do not you think
'Here the main character brings in the'royal "we" trying to draw us into his'whirlpool of insanity and inhumanity'through the use of half-truths. It is'in that sense a good piece in'propaganda, but not very beneficial to'society-as-a-whole. Actually likening'people to robots and automatons is an'ancient esoteric theme, but still does'not seem to explain the crimes (against humanity) of the main character.
'"As you can probably tell, I'm not a'fan of technology - so far as I can see'all we are concerned in doing is'inventing more and more ever more'comprehensive ways of killing each'other. Who needs fancy gadgets to do'that? It's all too impersonal." I'suppose the main chaaracter is trying'to convince me that rape, torture and'the use of a low tech knife is being'more personal and is a less'comprehensive way of killing. I guess'the main character has become a'low-tech automatom and has become'totally impersonal (without any
feelings).
'Maybe the writer was trying to imply'that this soul-less, love-less person'was a reflection of society...in fact'was created by society, thus the person'who really committed these crimes was'not the main character but society-as-'a-whole. If this is the main argument'of the writer, then the main character'is definitely not going to take'responsibility for his actions. I don't think so.
'The writer is a good writer as far as'the use of words. He apparently has a'good understanding of human psychology'and the use of half-truths, but I'question his motives, intents and#rhetoric. I think it is all a sham.
'Here is were the story starts showing a'few holes. The main character started'writing her letters, and she never'replied. I would assume that she now'had his address. In fact, the police'had already contacted him about the'calls. I am sure he would have been'nailed at this point, but then it is a'story. I sure hope it is only a story.'He has been calling her up constantly,'and she still has not changed her'number, and she still answers the phone. I just do not understand?
'"The Fair was the same as always. Full'of laughter, smiles and screaming. 'Lots of screaming. I like to scream.'Sometimes, when I'm alone I scream and'scream until I feel dizzy. Sometimes I'do it when I aren't alone. I like'feeling dizzy. It reminds me of the'climactic moments immediately before an'ejaculation." Here again the main'character is showing the world his
instabilities.
'"So I tried to leave them a message in'the rocks near the entrance - stupid, I'know, but at the time I was reading a'lot of Combat and Survival type mags'and I honestly thought it would help."'Combat and Survival type mags is always'a red flag for me. You have to be in a'real special place to read those kind'of mags. Now-and-again I hear stories'of this type who shoot into fast-food- outlets, school yards and banks.
'"Good job I didn't burn all my suits'after the banker-bastards sacked me. I'almost did. I had a bonfire prepared in'the woods and everything. I was going'to burn myself as well. I covered'everything with petrol but I chickened'out at the last minute." Here he is'showing his instabilities again. It'would be almost funny, except the guy
is not joking. He is serious!
'However the story turns for the worse'at this point. "For a couple of minutes'I seriously thought about going to her'house and raping her, then murdering'her, then killing myself. I always'carry a knife around with me, and I'always keep it sharp." Yes, he'definitely went over the edge. He is
way out there now.
'After he committed his crime, he tried'to commit suicide. I am not going into'the crime, otherwise I would be guilty'also of forcing the presentation of'graphic violence on the unsuspecting'public, which I think was the purpose'of all those diversions: to mislead or'misguide and draw the reader up to this'point, the graphic portrayal of
violence and hate.
'I guess this begs a question: If I felt'this way, why did I continue to read'the story? Good question. Well, I was'asked to review this piece, and I'accepted. Since I have been confronted'with the problem, I decided to counter'balance this distorted view of life
with my own view, and so I did.
'"I was taken straight into hospital,'where they cleaned me up, treated me'for exposure, dehydration,'malnourishment and fuck knows what'else. It was then that I was labelled''mentally unstable' - more fucking PC'bollocks - and institutionalised 'for'my own benefit'" Here the main'character is complaining that the'hospital is being "politically correct"'by saying exactly what he is. What'would have been a better expression:'nuts, fruitcake, batty, psychotic,'maniac, mad, insane, inhuman, lunatic,'etc.? I guess here he is denying that'he is deranged. Again here stressing'the argument of "political correctness"
IS A DIVERSION!
'Over here, people complain about'"political correctness", when you are'not allowed to say exactly what you'feel about the other person. Well, the'doctors said he was nuts. What exactly'was politically correct about that'statement? Unless, of course, you do'not understand what the person is'talking about, however their labels
seemed right on.
'"In time I told the doctors everything,'but they didn't seem to care. One day'I read the notes from the interviewing'doctor's clipboard. Reading upside down'is one of the first things you learn.'It said 'Delusional manic-depressive
paranoid-schizophrenic'."
'Delusional: Seeing ALL people as not'caring or loving. For example, here is'another distorted view of life that'does not seem to have any relation to'reality at all. There may be some'doctors or policeman that do not care,'but the main character would be sadly'mistaken, if he really believed that'ALL people do not care and that no one
was going to turn his ass in.
'I doth think that you complain too'much. You complain so much that society'does not care that it makes me question'your sincerity. The main character has'no love in him, and then tries to blame'the world for his cold-blooded acts or
crimes.
'Manic-depressive: Extreme emotional'highs and lows. Here I might have'disagreed slightly. I saw no examples'of extreme highs, but rather extreme'lows, thus I would label him'melancholic. To the Greeks, he was full'of black bile or had a black outlook on'life. (Biblically speaking) he was'concentrating on thorns and briars of'life (which comes from the Greek four
humors).
'Paranoid: Basically extroverted in that'he saw all causes coming from without,'thus he wanted to kill the woman (the
cause of his pain).
'Schizophrenic: Slightly introverted in'that he did see causes coming from'within, thus he wanted to kill himself
(just not badly enough).
'See, the doctors were not completely'off after all. Plus they mentioned the'instability of his emotional center,'with several previous examples that
seemed to confirm this view.
'Is there a problem? That is the'question. As a famous philosopher once'stated, "If I can not see it, then it
does not exist."
'Rehabilitation is impossible, when a'person can not see that what he is'doing IS WRONG. I guess in that sense'the main character may have been blind.'However, in this story, blindess was'transferred to the outside cause, the'woman he was obsessed with. He goes'into these long diversions that he was'unfairly institutionalized, for he is'not insane, which...is probably another'one of those half-truths, as he'probably knew exactly what he was
doing.
'The ending has to be the biggest con'job of them all. The writer would have'the reader believe that the psychotic'had a happy ending by marrying the very'person that he had brutalized??? As of'today, 16 April 1997, this has been for
me the toughest review!
'The next story is called "Imbibery".'Here the main character is at a night
club and is drunk.
'I am not sure what "reserved friends"'means. I guess I am not familiar with
the expression.
'The guy seems to be too drunk to really'enjoy the experience. Most of his
thoughts seem nonsensical.
'Again I am not sure what a "normal"'party-goer is. He does not go into any
details here.
'Apparently the main character is young'and a bit of a jerk: "He murmurs'something, so I take a gulp, perfecting'my new-found person-annoyer: close lips'fully around bottle, take a quick swig'to agitate the contents and hand'straight back, making it froth over its'owner. It has worked all but twice tonight."
'"Watch: Half past one: "We" leave. I'take a taxi to my friends house, twenty'minutes away and walk the rest.'Disappointed I hope to walk in front of
a car."
%That's it, a fairly forgetable story.
%The next story is called "Fragments".
'1. I am assuming that a man is'committing suicide by jumping off a'seafaring boat (lets say) and drowning.
'2. A small boy's encounter with a bully
after school.
'3. Whoops! Back to falling just before
he hits the water.
'4. Disfunctional family? Parental
verbal abuse? Not sure.
'5. Whoops! Now he is falling out of a
window and into the water.
'6. A small boy's encounter with two
younger bullies." '7. Well, maybe it is not suicide but"rather a fire started in his home.
'8. Apparently the small boy has a'disfunctional family, gets bullied by'younger kids and has dreams of fire,
falling and drowning. "
'(He wishes the VOICES in his head would'shut up and leave him alone.) Sounds'like the beginning of breakdown. The'mind can be liken to a door. Be careful'who you allow to enter. Apparently, the'main character at some point in his'life allowed some nasty personalities'to enter into his mind by opening that
door.
'I suspect that these VOICES are the'same forces that were expressed through'other people (in society) who'victimized the main character in his'childhood. They now express through the
main character in this piece.
'The main character wishes he could be'as important as he feels in his "other"'life." Maybe this is the manic side,'but I see this as a split personality.'The "other" life was not described but
only mentioned.
'9. Well, I guess I was right from the&start. The kid is committing suicide.
'10. Whoops! Now it is a fire all over
again?
'The next story is called "The Morning'After". I guess here some insight is'given into the "other" self or "other"'life. The main character plays the
guitar.
'Well, the poetic thoughts or sub-'conscious thoughts were abit difficult'to get through. However, the basic
theme seems to be sex.
'He did say though he hid behind a mask'of LIES. Now that does seem to ring'true. Maybe instead of calling the'stories "Breakdown", he should have'called them "Lies" or maybe "Lies and
Breakdowns and More Lies".
'Apparently the main character's love'life sucks royally. Well,I suppose you'have to have love, before you can get'love. Whoops! That phrase applies to'money. I guess it is one of those
paradoxes.
'"Then he turns off the machine, and'lies on his bed, dreaming of dying."'Pretty much the same theme over and
over again.
'The next story is called "Breakdown"'just like the theme of the stories. The'main character is looking for work. He'is doing alot of walking. The best'writing seems to be here describing the'scenes and people and conditions, which'is basically the slums of the city and!the underclass. It was well done.
'The next story is called "Rendezvous",'which is a story about three friends.'It seems like two are going somewhere,'and the main character never even got'started. "Once I had been paranoid and'nearly destroyed everything I'd been'working towards...He (one of the'friends) often half-heartedly talked of'the pointlessness of existence not'knowing I had first hand experience of'it. For a fleeting second I had'considered telling him everything,'validating the advice I was giving him'but the moment had passed and still'nobody knew my darkest secrets.'Besides, I didn't want him to think I'was just an idocentric moaner." In'agreement, I would have to think that'it takes alot to talk about personal'matters like this in front of the whole
world.
'"If I had chosen to work in the sixth'form instead of complaining about my'own inadequacies and sitting around'with a guitar in my hand hoping to'become a pop star, that would have been'me. I had once been the "top swot" at'school until I had been marked down as'a 'gifted student'." I guess though he
did have his dreams after all.
'"For the next three years while they'whiled away their hours on''dissertations' and cramming in last'minute revision for 'finals' I'd been'sat at a computer, alone, writing'hundreds of thousands of unpublished'words, whiling away my time on writing'reports and studying for exams in a'hundred and one "training" schemes."#Well, I guess he was also a writer.
'"As I stood up and left the pair of'them for the final time I almost turned'back and told them about everything'that had happened to me as a teenager,'while we were simultaneously friends'and virtual strangers. I almost told'them how I had predicted the paths of'their lives almost perfectly and how I'used to vow I would never take the'route in life that was expected of me.'But I changed my mind because THE TRUTH
HURT."
'I like how the main character freely'uses the personal pronoun "I" and seems'to take responsibility for where he is'now. I can really appreciate this'piece, for there does for once seem to
be some honesty here.
'The next story is called "Morning'Glory". Here the main character is'complaining that he will never get'laid. "You don't want to accept what'your are. You laugh at those who have'found happiness but only to cover up'your HATRED. You're jealous. You're'jealous and you can't make it. You'can't fucking take it that you really'are what you think you are. You have'become what you always knew you were'but tried to pretend you weren't. You'sad, sad, sad bastard...It's so easy to'hide behind a frivolous mask that YOUR!(MY) TRUE SELF IS LOST FOREVER."
'Now here the main character is talking'to himself in the third person, which I'always find confusing as the person is'not really talking about "you", for the'person is actually talking to himself.'However, the main character is'apparently being honest with himself'about himself. I can actually
appreciate this piece also.
'Here is my own ramblings. Yes, I agree'I wear a mask. My personality is a'combination of race, heredity,'upbringing, influence of the stars,'etc. I AM this and I AM that, and then'I equate that temporary mask, the role'I play, with the "Real Me" probably'throughout my whole life. (AJC compares'it to being in a prison with no way to'escape.) WHO or WHAT is the REAL ME,'when all I have ever known is the part'I play? I believe that when I say I AM'this or that, I am stuck and there is'no way out of it. However, when I ask'the question WHO AM I? and make no'assumptions or pre-judgements, I leave'an opening for an answer (for the truth
to come out).
'I believe and truly believe that the'REAL ME is unknown. I have no'comprehension how deep and unknowable'the REAL ME is. But, once I get past'identity or I AM this or that, parts of'the REAL ME start to come through and'express itself. That expression is'never what I expect it to be and is'always new and different. And that is'the paradox. In finding my REAL SELF, I'find God, for that is God's name, I AM
THAT I AM.
'Sometimes being alone is not the curse'that it may seem at first, for it gives'me a chance to communicate with my soul'without all those outside influences'trying to grab my attention and trying'to get me to do what they (the outside'forces) want me to do or trying to#distract or misdirect my attention.
'However, when the main character is all'alone, self destructive thoughts set'in. "Kill yourself. It's easy. You've'got a knife hidden under your bed. Just'a few cuts and it'll all be over. It'didn't hurt the last time, and you only'have to cut a little bit deeper and you'won't feel a thing. Kill yourself. Go
on, teach them a lesson."
'Please, dear reader. Try to remember'that the "voice" IS NOT talking to YOU'but to him, the main character, as this'"voice" and talk has nothing to do with'YOU. I guess this kind of stuff is'self-evident, but I think it should be
said anyway.
'What can I say, there are forces (some'inside and some outside) that lead to'life and some that lead to death. It is'up to a person's will which "voice" he'or she will listen to. I believe that'life here on earth seems always to'default to death and self destruction, unless a person wills otherwise.
'I think the writer is a good writer who'seems to be preaching the gospel of of'Death and Darkness to his fellowman,'which apparently the writer has chosen'to do, and it is his choice, for he'does have free will. However,I would'have to say that this has not been the'most uplifting piece, Breakdown, I have'ever read, but maybe it was not meant
to be.
'The part, that really bothers me, is'that I have liked his writings in'ShareWorld. In particular, I liked'Theories of Conspiracy, in the last'issue of ShareWorld. It was a hilarious'piece, even though I think now that he'was making fun of people who like to'speculate. I also liked Freelancers'Fight Back, because he gave what I'thought was a very useful'categorization of different types of'programmers. I admit that he was'complaining alot, but the article was'good. He seems to show a whole'different side to himself in ShareWorld'which I can appreciate, because in much'of the stuff, that he presents in the&ShareWorld, he tends really to shine.
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